Thursday, March 23, 2017

Try, learn, grow

How do you build a foundation of knowledge?   Experience? Study? Observation? Reflection?

However you go about learning, you must first be open to trying. 
You've got to be open to something in order for it to work.

A lot of times we put up road blocks for ourselves.
I can't do it until..
I'll do it once ____ happens
I don't want to do it yet because I'm not ready.

But once you're ready, you know.  You might keep making excuses, but you know you could if you tried.


I remember a time before I knew how to quilt.  I knew a lot about quilts and quilt making, but I hadn't actually tried it to the point where I knew what I was doing.   I poured over books, magazines.  (I realize now that this "beginner" phase lasted a lot longer than I thought, of course this comes in hindsight because I never could have anticipated how obsessed or knowledgeable I could become with this hobby.  And I am certain that there is so much more I can learn, when I'm ready.. ;)  ).  I was sitting with Mrs. K in Hokkaido and I tried to make a winding ways block, 6" finished, hand pieced.  I was enthralled.  I couldn't do it, but I wanted to.

Last night I was playing around with Blogger's new themes (yay 2017, why did my blog still look like it's 2011?) and decided to re-do my "Quilts" page up at the top.  I know it will take a while to locate and upload all the pics of all the quilts, but I started a list (disclaimer: it may be wrong, 2010-2012 kinda all blurs together) and I see that my early quilts, or those that I actually finished.. well, they tell a story.  I can see now what shapes I was interested in, what steps of the project I got good at, which I mastered.  And where, all to often, there are gaps where quilts were started and pieced, but never finished.  This is quite apparent when you are scrolling through 10 years of digital pics and you see all the quilts you worked on but don't have photos to put into the finished projects category.  But I digress.

I found my winding ways quilt from 2007.  Finished, hanging at the Silver City Quilt Guild's first show.  My first show entry, my first quilt that I tried and designed and completed.  I was not the first quilt or block or idea, no, I practiced for a long time before I made it.  (yes, I think "practice pieces" may be my new term for "old forgotten UFOs")  But there it is, the same shape, same curves, from that afternoon in Hokkaido.  The blocks are bigger, I pieced it by machine, but I did it.  I had tossed the idea around in my head enough to know I was ready to try.  And I succeeded.  I was open, and I learned.

A sampler quilt pushes you to try new techniques, patterns, to make color, value and fabric choices.  It really is a way to teach quilt making.  Decide what you like, what you're ready for.  I can remember in my quilting journey, which of these blocks came easy to me and which were more of a struggle (some still are..).  Some blocks and patterns I go back to over and over.  Some techniques just fit my personal style.  And if I think about the blocks I struggled with.. yep, there are mental barriers there.  Some techniques in quilting I'm just not ready for yet.  But I'm glad I tried, I was open to learning something through the teaching process.  Figuring out how to express and share my knowledge in a way others could absorb.  To motivate but reassure at the same time.
You don't have to get this. 
It doesn't need to be easy and mistake-free the first time.  
If you don't like my methods, do what feels right for you.

And I also really like how reflecting on my quilting teaches me new things about myself and my story.  Damn, I've missed blogging.

I gave the quilt to Andy and Shirley.  Because... it's a quilt.  And all I learned in making it really seems not so important if the quilt just sits in a suitcase and doesn't get loved.  Why do I do this, after all?  What have I learned?
I've learned that comfort, ease, and repose are things I value.  Things I want to cultivate and share. ♡

Monday, March 13, 2017

8 minutes for 25 cents





You don't realize how much you are actually going to lose when you go through a divorce.  You mostly think of the things you don't like and how you will be rid of them.  The things you'll gain like personal choice and freedom.  I knew I would lose big things.  Time with my children.  My home.  
But there are other things that are gone that have had much bigger impact than I could have anticipated.  Like my washer and dryer.  
I spend an awful lot of time at the laundromat these days, but also doing laundry wherever else I'm able to.  Not having free laundry access has greatly influenced my routines and the choices I make.  Not unlike when I lived in Washburn and would wear only light colors one week and only dark colors the next.  You choose clothes that wash easily and wear well.  You are strategic with your wardrobe choices based on when you can do laundry again.. ('I really want to wear these jeans when we go out to dinner Saturday night so I better wear ___ instead now..).  I plan what I'm going to wear throughout the week like some people plan meals.
It has also impacted my quilting.  I no longer pre-wash fabric.  (Breaking this habit hurt my heart on some levels, it's a quilting rule I felt strongly about).  I also had a lot of quilts and items in storage because I didn't have the space for them to get used (and dirty, and need washing..).  
Without access to a washer and dryer that are "mine", my quilts smell different, my home smells different.  Scent has a huge impact, I definitely hadn't anticipated how divorce would change the way my life smells..
But as with every major life change, there are things to be gained, positives to fill the void where the negatives have been removed.  A change in laundry access has made me appreciate routine more.  And with each new laundry routine I'm building, I process a little bit more what has changed.  Where I've been, and where I am now.  (In case you're curious, no, I don't spend much time thinking about where I'm going). And I think of all the other laundry routines I've had.  The other washer women I have known.  It is one of my favorite domestic activities.  The repetitiveness, the warmth, and, I have learned after the divorce-- the care.   The care and love you can put into doing someone else's laundry.  Then I feel grateful to every person who has ever done mine .  

This is the Skill Builder Sampler from Get Started Quilting.  The deadlines for the book were so tight that I didn't actually finish this quilt.  It's done, but I sent it off to Shannon to have it long armed (and OMG, she did an awesome job) and also asked her to bind it.  She put on the label and the hanging sleeve, and then we sent it right off to London to be photographed.  I think she sent it to me and I sent it on, but when it finally came back from photography, I was already packing all of my non-essential life in boxes, preparing for the move so I haven't spent much time with this quilt.  I took it to the laundromat this week to give it its first wash and I was amazed at how fantastic it is.  I was so focused on making each block, in writing the instructions-- both for the book text but also for the photo crew who would need to take my fabric patches, semi-sewn seams, and lay them out for the stage photographs.  Tomorrow, when I go shovel snow, I will take it out for a proper photo shoot (hoping some tall neighbor can help).  
Then later this week I will take it to the post office and send it off to some new friends that have filled part of the divorce void.  People that should have been in my life all along, but I didn't know to make that sort of space, or maybe we just weren't ready.  Damn, I'm glad the pieces fit together this time though.  

Free Zoom Quilt Class, October 20.

    Free Live Online Craft Class Learn to quilt with Jessica Wed., Sept. 9 Tues., Oct., 20, Nov. 9 7:00 – 8:00 pm Sign up now.   Take one or...