Chaos vs. Routine

Chaos has been winning as of late.
I'm trying to be gentle with myself..

I love that my life has some direction now; the positive changes, the new space, the room to heal and grow.. but I crave routine.  Why is that?
Because it lowers anxiety?  There was something on WNYC this week about taxi drivers and how they decide how many hours to work each day.  Setting a goal of how much $ to make and then once they reach it, they can stop working.  The piece questioned why setting that goal is important, and it said that when the system is in place, it helps with self control.  You don't have to constantly worry and question what you should do from hour to hour.  You can coast a bit.  The system will guide you.
I'm not a taxi driver, but I really connected with that sentiment.  (the report went on to say taxi drivers can make more money if they use a slightly different system, but money making strategies are not my goal here..)

If I have a routine, I can let go a little.  I don't need to think.  I don't need to worry.  Chaos is exhausting.  Right now I'm pacing through the apartment in circles trying to remember if I've forgotten anything before I leave, and twice this week I got to the car and had to go back inside because I thought I had forgotten something.  Both times it was a false alarm, but still, chaos.

I'm not even going to mention trying to sew right now.  I can't think about it.  Well, that's not true. I do think about it.  I even bought a simplicity pattern for pajamas this week and had grand daydreams of stitching Christmas presents this year.. but... we'll see how far I get there.
The chaos v. routine thing totally applies to quilting though.  That's why EPP travel kits are so wonderful, right?  There's a system, a routine.  Pack the kit.  Baste, piece, join, repeat.  No thought.  Effortless progress.  Effortless living.

*Deep sigh*

Life will fall into place.  I trust it will.  Tao's got me.